Really two gay men getting it on – By Bruce G… (view #2)
This is my writing partner Bruce’s half of our column in C-Spot magazine…Columbia’s erotic review. My half is above this.
The fluidity of male sexuality has always been a tough subject for me to approach. Like most gay men I know, I have a difficult time understanding, perhaps even believing in, male bisexuality, or something in between the accepted definitions of “straight” and “gay.”
If you’re a gay man, you likely share my doubts. But for others, my skepticism of a spectrum of male sexualities might seem unfair, too close-minded, and perhaps a symptom of modernity’s obsession with categorization.
I had quite a bit of time to ponder these points this summer while completing an internship in Egypt, a country whose sexual mores can fairly be categorized as a “traditional.” Heterosexual marriage is paramount, and while homosexuality of any kind is seen as morally offensive, there is a common understanding that some men do, from time to time, have sex with each other. “Gay” men, however, are assumed to not exist there.
And yet I met or befriended scores of Egyptian (and other Arab) men this summer who clearly identify as “gay” and reject the idea that this label was imposed on them. I actively courted these men for conversations on all things gay, eager to see if my concept of male sexuality was the product of my own life of hopping from one liberal bubble to another. Instead, I found compelling evidence of a greater force in male sexuality that seems to overwhelmingly, if not wholly, pull men towards sexual attraction towards one sex or the other, but not both.
My point in bringing this up is to directly address the issues of physical arousal, emotional attraction, physical actions, and social constructions. For a self-declared and bona fide heterosexual male, his physical and emotional arousal to an attractive woman will translate, if he be so lucky, into sexual activity with her; in other words, body, mind and heart work in tandem. For a self-identified and bona fide gay male, the same would be true with another guy.
But what of the men who claim attraction to both men and women? As it happens, science suggests, perhaps even demonstrates, that while some men’s hearts and actions may indicate sexual attraction to both sexes, their bodies respond almost exclusively to one sex. There have been a number of studies which track the physiological responses of men and women of various self-identified sexualities to erotic images of gay sex, lesbian sex, and straight sex. Tellingly, in one study, 75% of self-ascribed bisexual men were aroused solely by images and videos of men. The remaining 25%, almost solely by women (http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/05/health/05sex.html).
Interestingly, women were found to have a very different arousal pattern much closer resembling a patchwork of attraction to men and women. In short, female sexuality has been shown to be distinct from male sexuality.
I’m not sure that men are necessarily born “straight” or “gay,” but it seems clear to me that almost all men are strongly grounded in a physical attraction to one sex or the other, but not both. This isn’t a rejection of open-mindedness vis-à-vis sexuality, nor is it the imposition of an overly structured, “modern,” “Western,” construction on natural sexual fluidity. It simply is.
